..dOts..

Blogging is depressing.

I have 10 minutes to write. Actually 9.

Writer's block? It's more like a case of severe brain atrophy. If such thing exists. If it doesn't, well, it does actually, it just sprang into existence from my utterly empty, clean slated, wildly imaginative uterus. I just gave birth to it, that is.

Really, when I sit down to write something, I have nothing to say, not even mindless senseless gibberish.

But when I'm doing something and I have access to no pen/paper/computer/memory, I have all these (insert eulogistic adjectives) things to say.

Sigh

I'm tired of writing 'sigh'. I don't even sigh! But I guess I should.

Ok, I just had a 3 minute gag.

4 minutes left!

Sigh

Beeeeeep

There went another 4 minutes into oblivion.

See ya

I had a weird dream last night, actually, I've been having strange dreams ever since I can remember! Who doesn't? When are dreams not bizarre?
Why and how do we dream? Same old eternal questions.
I've always viewed dreaming as some sort of entertainment. Really, I just miss the popcorn, err why do many people have popcorn with movies anyway? I digress.

It's always fun, even when I don't have a 'good' dream, it's some sort of escape from reality. And the possibilities of being or doing anything is just endless!

Here's a little background on sleep and the stages we go through, what I want you to concentrate on are the sleep stages and their associated EEG pattern (brain waves).
While awake we're alert and our waveform is Beta but being awake and merely closing our eyes, our brain activity changes and the waves become Alpha waves.

Stage1: Light sleep, in which young adults spend 5% of total sleep time. The associated waveform is Theta.

Stage2: Deeper sleep, young adults spend 45% of total sleep time in this stage. Waveform: Sleep spindles and K-complexes.

Stage3: Deepest sleep (25% of total sleep time spent in this non-REM stage). Waveform: Delta.

REM sleep: 25% of total sleep time is spent in REM sleep, now here's my favorite part, waveform: Beta!

It's the same EEG pattern as while awake and alert! And this has spawned the terms "paradoxical sleep" and "desynchronized sleep".

One interesting fact to note here is that during REM we lose motor tone (absence of skeletal muscle movement) so people who tend to sleep walk do not do so while dreaming, that occurs in stage 3.

Our brains also increase their usage of oxygen. And our pulse and blood pressure increase and are variable. Pretty interesting stuff.
Also, REM occurs every 90 minutes and the duration increases through the night.

Back to the eternal old questions, why do we dream? What are these dreams anyway?
We've all had our share of dreams which later came true or of those in which we saw people we had never seen and then one day saw them in reality and countless other freaky dreams.
It makes dreams just so mysterious.

People have been trying since the beginning of time to understand dreams, they still remain obscure. I just wonder if they hold answers to some timeless mysteries, such as the meaning of existence..

: ) Been gone too long, had my cousins over for spring break, girl and boy, 16 and 12 respectively.
The first day they were here, I was telling them what I had planned for the week, pretty exciting stuff I tell ya, and then I hear the girl saying 'ohh that's sick'! And I'm thinking sick as in disgusting and I just gave her a bewildered look, when she says 'aahh sick as in cool, great, wonderful, whatever.'
ha ha
What is wrong with all those other words? I mean, what is up with kids vocabularies these days? Sick? Couldn't find a better word to mean cool?
I'm just grateful slang doesn't stick around for too long!

I had a mathematics teacher who once said 'everything in this universe starts with the dot'.
He meant this dot: .
I never got to know what that means.
Any ideas?

A friend was telling me about this experience he once had, something utterly new to him and he thought he'd share it with me, maybe I'd have some answers. (or questions)
He tried in earnest to describe this weird feeling, here goes:

Him: "As I was lying down to sleep one night, I had the strangest of feelings, felt as if I was a piece of melting butter on a heater. I was melting and running down the sides.. whoosh, I felt so heavy, gravity was sort of sucking me in, but where, I did not know, I could not feel the mattress, I was one and the same with everything around me. There were no dimensions, I had limited use of my senses, I can say I could only 'feel' but it was weird, cuz I could feel my buttery self but not anything else, it truly was frightening, but enjoyable nonetheless."

Moi: "Dude, what were you on?"

Him: (disregarding my question) "Maybe I was butter in my past life, or will be in my future one" (delighted at the thought), "however I can't seem to figure out the reason as to why I was melting, or hey, why was I butter in the first place? I mean, couldn't I have been margarine? Or even sour cream? Heck, why didn't I feel like cream cheese?"

Moi: "Dude, what are you on now?"


Yea, it stopped right there, it's interesting though, who knows, now I'm prepared, if one day, or one night I ever feel like melting butter or freezing water I'd know I'm not alone! And well, I'd also get to know the feelings of our inanimate friends : )

Maybe I should be going to sleep now, I don't know though, as soon as I close my eyes and try to induce the alpha waves, I start thinking about a whole lot of things, and of course my sleep is delayed. But I think I should anyway cuz I'll have to wake up really early, I decided to change my sleep pattern, again, with the hopes that I'll be managing my time more efficiently.
Anyway, I thought I'll try and hopefully things will work, and well, if I don't do it, maybe I'll just pretend to.

Hobbes once defined the "state of nature" as one where man would be brute, violent, selfish, greedy, utterly egoist...According to Hobbes, while in that 'state of nature', man wouldn't be able to live any social experience, inasmuch as his ultimate concern would be his own 'survival' in a war of all against all. If men are violent, brute, selfish, unhampered, egoist, they would first zeal for their own goods (life, food etc.) to the detriment of other men.Then how was it possible for men to leave behind this rudimentary existential stage, reaching the ultimate incarnation of Reason (Leviathan - the modern state)? What happened to change the previous existential pattern? How did man become conscious of the "primacy" of Reason over Instinct? This is the big unsolved question in hobbesian thought and - I would concede - in modern political philosophy. Would you guys provide me with some enlightenment on this apparent paradox? How can Instinct (conceived of as the opposite of Reason) lead to Reason?

I know, that's a strong word, I usually use 'dislike' for things I dislike :P but here's the thing, I've recently moved to a different country, in a different continent, when I look back, I see I've moved from one country to another like people change houses, and no, my parents aren't diplomats.
I'll come back to this maybe on a later post, but right now I'd like to mention my acquired hatred towards the movies.
I do not know anybody here, my sister goes to college and is gone the whole day, my parents are gone the whole day, and I'm sitting at home preparing myself for my licensure examination which will be in the summer, but till then, I have no one to talk to except my cats! Isn't that just wonderful? I mean, the only thing I have seemed to gain is weight! Now that's just what I needed!
And now, whenever I suggest we do something on the weekends, everyone prefers going to the movies! I didn't mind it at the beginning, but then it seemed to be the only thing people wanted to do! So I thought to myself, ok, I'll get a car and go around exploring the place; but *sigh* it's just so boring doing it alone!
So anyway, I started disliking the movies because you go there, waste your time, waste your money and watch something just not worth watching.
Urghhhh.

I want to write and write and write! It's funny though, considering I do not know how to write properly in any language! That's why I decided to take some writing courses in English, since it is the language I feel most comfortable with..
That's one thing that has been on my mind, and the other, well, I was thinking the other day what it means to 'be myself' somehow it just seems hard to do that, come to think of it, what is yourself? How are you 'yourself'?
What made my situation even worse, as I was meditating on it, was the fact that I have gone through so many phases, and have gone through so many 'I'm changing my life' times that it seems to be a bit difficult to know what that self is. But then again, I see myself as myself, the same person I always was, with the change being in my current interests. *shrug*
I'm having trouble putting these stranded thoughts into something coherent, but I'd appreciate any thoughts on this matter, coherent, or not : )

I think I'm getting addicted to this bloggerworld, spending more and more of the 'free' time that
I don't seem to have on it.
I get hooked easily.
I'm just wondering why I don't become an
aficionado of the good things?

Yes, change is good.

Just watched the movie today, for the first time, and gotta tell you that song is pretty contagious:
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine!
My dad recommended it, saying it was a very very good movie, a friend couldn't make it past the first 15 minutes, he said he really tried though. I found it amusing, and wanted to know what the fuss was all about.
For those of you who haven't seen it though I'm sure I was the only one who hadn't, given the age of the movie; it's about 2 people from different cultures falling in love, and the story has a tragical Romeo and Juliet ending.
I'm still stuck at the same old eternal question of why people fight. I believe if you take mans reasoning capabilities away from him he will be worse than animals. And now since nobody has done that, and since man still has his power of reason, why not use it? I keep on getting the 'the masses aren't intellectual' answer, ok, fine, but for those who are, for those who claim to be enlightened souls (though being educated hasn't got much to do with enlightenment, and vice versa), why aren't they doing something about it?
People who are not inflicted with any mental disorder, I'm sure do not enjoy fighting and killing and destroying, and fortunately they are a majority, so, the question is this, is there really no way for progress other than war? Would there be stagnancy if there was peace all over the world?
Is there no other way people could resolve their problems without having to be clutching at one anothers throats?
I mean, really now, we're in the 21st century! Hello? Couldn't we just enjoy a little bit of peace? Couldn't we just be a bit less hypocritical? Couldn't we just be compassionate, for once? Everybody, together, is that not possible?
Are people willing to do that? Maybe the question is rather, do people want peace? Ok, I see I didn't stick to that one question. But that's the thing, it isn't just one thing, it's a whole lot of things, hmm, maybe I should find some words to replace those 3 'things' back there. lol.

I've been wanting to post some comments but I just keep on getting this message 'The blog you were looking for was not found' 'Back to the dashboard' I didn't come from the dashboard you silly blogger.
It's so annoying!

He left today.

I always have this feeling when someone close to me leaves-forlornly-for about half a day and then everything goes back to normal!
I realized some time ago how little I know of my family. In the 5 years I lived with my brothers, seldom did we sit and talk about anything, each of us wrapped in their own little world, busy with their thing. I did try, a few times, to get us together, but it would never work, and later I found out why, we were just so different from one another, there were very little common grounds, we had totally different interests, and I just knew that if we weren't born in the same family, we would never have been aware of each others existence.
Not that we are now anyway!
I left, and now I saw my younger brother after about a year, he hadn't changed much, and I can say that because I don't know him well to know whether he has changed or not. But anyway, we did have a good time together now, when we weren't busy working, but now he's gone. And it somehow hurts me when I look back at our relationship. When we were much younger, they called us the inseparable twins. We didn't look alike, I was much bigger, and well, 2 years older. But somehow we were so much alike and pretty much together all the time, he looked up to me, and I felt this sense of responsibility, but as we were growing, we were changing, and I tried to keep it the same, but failed! *sigh*

It feels so weird when I think of my life, my life in the past, the different stages and phases we went through, the different people we met, the different things we did. I'm grateful for many things, and regret nothing, except maybe this loss. I know he'll come round though, and wake up and smell the coffee/tea/hot chocolate, or whatever it is he drinks. But he'll come to. I have so much belief in this brother of mine, I feel one day he will change the world-somehow (for the better, let's hope!).
Uhhh ok, gotta go now, first thing on my to-do list? Sterilize his room!

Descend it.
For the first two or three flights, you are just getting into step. Establish a regular rhythm as soon as possible, synchronizing your feet, the movement of your legs, and your breathing in such a way that they become automatic, and you can keep going without thinking about it. When you feel a slight dizziness, you've reached the right mechanical state of mind.
Keep going.
Imagine that you'll keep going down like this forever. The spiraling movement will continue indefinitely. Bottomless: no hell, no material disintegration, no death. Just this regular, interminable descent. As far as the eye can see. And there's no stopping. If you wish, you can embroider your downward journey in different ways. Imagine you pass through different zones of color, for instance. Invent frozen lights, torrid zones, light and dark flights, long overcrowded passages, deserted intervals, parts of the staircase better maintained than others, local populations, folk music, regional dishes, rustic paintings.
What you can never alter, however, is the fact that your descent has no end.
Rely on your gallows humor to compose two funeral orations in your head, with an elegiac warmth: one for the inventor of the ground floor, the other for the salesman of staircases.
Oh and it works just the same for ascending ;)
I got to tell Droit I found the picture!