..dOts..

What it all comes down to?

2005-09-06T19:54:00.000-04:00

Life = spending time?

'''''''''V'''''''''V'''''''''V'''''''''

2005-08-06T22:44:00.000-04:00

I truly feel at home everywhere
And yet, I feel at home nowhere
I do not belong here
Take me to the Beloved

.

2005-07-27T13:56:00.000-04:00

The road is long
The time is short
I wonder..
Will we make it?

hmmm

2005-04-25T16:09:00.000-04:00

I wanted to wash some dishes, and as I was pouring the liquid detergent on them the cap of the bottle somehow popped open and some of the detergent found itself in the company of my left eye. Now that's something to blog about! Isn't it? No? Hmmm, well what about the dream I had last night? My life has a lot in common with the EKG of a dead person, and so I dreamt of Spot our neighbour's cat! Isn't she beautiful? Hmm, this doesn't seem to do it either. Well, what can I blog about?

Oooh I did actually do something interesting. I just remembered, for one day my life wasn't completely empty, I visited a Hindu temple! Yes, it was beautiful, I had passed by it a few times, and marveled at the building's beauty and then one day my sister said she had to go to a Buddhist temple to attend some ceremony (she's studying world religions) but there were none close to where we live and so I suggested she goes to the Hindu temple.

We went so she sets an appointment and we got to speak to the chairman who was very friendly and stayed for about 2 hours talking! Well, he was doing most of the talking. He spoke of the four paths, Jnan Yoga, Karma Yoga, Raj Yoga and Bhakti Yoga and also about reincarnation. I found it very fascinating and wondered at the beauty this world could be if human beings could put into action all the good they know.

We then went to where they conduct prayers of some sort, and he explained how they bathe the God/s in milk and honey and about the offerings and then before leaving he gave us fruits from the place of offerings, I was moved : )
We thanked him and I said 'namaste' : ) he was surprised i know it! I was so happy lol.

Ok, that's it. Go read something beneficial :P

The new self

2005-04-14T23:15:00.000-04:00

Can you really ask what reason Pythagoras had for abstaining from flesh? For my part I rather wonder both by what accident and in what state of soul or mind the first man did so, touched his mouth to gore and brought his lips to the flesh of a dead creature, he who set forth tables of dead, stale bodies and ventured to call food and nourishment the parts that had little before bellowed and cried, moved and lived.

How could his eyes endure the slaughter when throats were slit and hides flayed and limbs torn from limb? How could his nose endure the stench? How was it that the pollution did not turn away his taste, which made contact with the sores of others and sucked juices and serums from mortal wounds?

It is certainly not lions and wolves that we eat out of self-defense; on the contrary, we ignore these and slaughter harmless, tame creatures without stings or teeth to harm us, creatures that, I swear, Nature appears to have produced for the sake of their beauty and grace. But nothing abashed us, not the flower-like tinting of the flesh, not the persuasiveness of the harmonious voice, not the cleanliness of their habits or the unusual intelligence that may be found in the poor wretches.
No, for the sake of a little flesh we deprive them of sun, of light, of the duration of life to which they are entitled by birth and being.
PLUTARCH

I went vegan on April 2nd. Just like that, you know how some smokers quit cold turkey? Yup, it was the same thing for me, I just woke up on that day and decided no more meat, poultry, dairy, eggs, fish, honey, silk, leather etc.

Ok.

Somehow I feel liberated. From what I do not really know. And there's also this part of me thinking that I'm finally doing something for this planet. I've even thought of writing a book on veganism/vegetarianism but then thought with all those books out there which more or less have everything one needs to know, I might as well write about something else. But then now when I thought of it, anything I decide to write on, would have been covered. Is this another one of Murphys laws?

Anyway, I will write about it here though, do my part on shedding more light on the subject.

Now, that's what happened!

2005-04-07T14:26:00.001-04:00

Link between Smoking and Armageddon? heh

Check

this

out!

Angel

2005-04-03T13:52:00.000-04:00

Whoa that was a random entry back there! But blogging is still depressing! Ok, well, I'll write more on this later, gotta be in the right mood ; )

Ok guys, I'll be gone for a few days, but do visit again, I will have things to say :P

I'm leaving you here with this angel, he goes by a lot of names, Chico, Chongooz, Tu Tu, Bon Bon, Tranqi, Sunshine, Baby Boy, Shamorty, and I'm sure there were more, but just can't remember now, heh.

You can name him too! Let's see what suits him best by just looking at his picture!

.......

2005-03-31T22:05:00.000-05:00

Blogging is depressing.

I have 10 minutes to write. Actually 9.

Writer's block? It's more like a case of severe brain atrophy. If such thing exists. If it doesn't, well, it does actually, it just sprang into existence from my utterly empty, clean slated, wildly imaginative uterus. I just gave birth to it, that is.

Really, when I sit down to write something, I have nothing to say, not even mindless senseless gibberish.

But when I'm doing something and I have access to no pen/paper/computer/memory, I have all these (insert eulogistic adjectives) things to say.

Sigh

I'm tired of writing 'sigh'. I don't even sigh! But I guess I should.

Ok, I just had a 3 minute gag.

4 minutes left!

Sigh

Beeeeeep

There went another 4 minutes into oblivion.

See ya

The Sleep Paradox

2005-03-29T14:42:00.000-05:00

I had a weird dream last night, actually, I've been having strange dreams ever since I can remember! Who doesn't? When are dreams not bizarre?
Why and how do we dream? Same old eternal questions.
I've always viewed dreaming as some sort of entertainment. Really, I just miss the popcorn, err why do many people have popcorn with movies anyway? I digress.

It's always fun, even when I don't have a 'good' dream, it's some sort of escape from reality. And the possibilities of being or doing anything is just endless!

Here's a little background on sleep and the stages we go through, what I want you to concentrate on are the sleep stages and their associated EEG pattern (brain waves).
While awake we're alert and our waveform is Beta but being awake and merely closing our eyes, our brain activity changes and the waves become Alpha waves.

Stage1: Light sleep, in which young adults spend 5% of total sleep time. The associated waveform is Theta.

Stage2: Deeper sleep, young adults spend 45% of total sleep time in this stage. Waveform: Sleep spindles and K-complexes.

Stage3: Deepest sleep (25% of total sleep time spent in this non-REM stage). Waveform: Delta.

REM sleep: 25% of total sleep time is spent in REM sleep, now here's my favorite part, waveform: Beta!

It's the same EEG pattern as while awake and alert! And this has spawned the terms "paradoxical sleep" and "desynchronized sleep".

One interesting fact to note here is that during REM we lose motor tone (absence of skeletal muscle movement) so people who tend to sleep walk do not do so while dreaming, that occurs in stage 3.

Our brains also increase their usage of oxygen. And our pulse and blood pressure increase and are variable. Pretty interesting stuff.
Also, REM occurs every 90 minutes and the duration increases through the night.

Back to the eternal old questions, why do we dream? What are these dreams anyway?
We've all had our share of dreams which later came true or of those in which we saw people we had never seen and then one day saw them in reality and countless other freaky dreams.
It makes dreams just so mysterious.

People have been trying since the beginning of time to understand dreams, they still remain obscure. I just wonder if they hold answers to some timeless mysteries, such as the meaning of existence..

Sick!

2005-03-27T11:04:00.000-05:00

: ) Been gone too long, had my cousins over for spring break, girl and boy, 16 and 12 respectively.
The first day they were here, I was telling them what I had planned for the week, pretty exciting stuff I tell ya, and then I hear the girl saying 'ohh that's sick'! And I'm thinking sick as in disgusting and I just gave her a bewildered look, when she says 'aahh sick as in cool, great, wonderful, whatever.'
ha ha
What is wrong with all those other words? I mean, what is up with kids vocabularies these days? Sick? Couldn't find a better word to mean cool?
I'm just grateful slang doesn't stick around for too long!

The dot

2005-03-17T00:13:00.001-05:00

I had a mathematics teacher who once said 'everything in this universe starts with the dot'.
He meant this dot: .
I never got to know what that means.
Any ideas?

The Melting Butter

2005-03-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

A friend was telling me about this experience he once had, something utterly new to him and he thought he'd share it with me, maybe I'd have some answers. (or questions)
He tried in earnest to describe this weird feeling, here goes:

Him: "As I was lying down to sleep one night, I had the strangest of feelings, felt as if I was a piece of melting butter on a heater. I was melting and running down the sides.. whoosh, I felt so heavy, gravity was sort of sucking me in, but where, I did not know, I could not feel the mattress, I was one and the same with everything around me. There were no dimensions, I had limited use of my senses, I can say I could only 'feel' but it was weird, cuz I could feel my buttery self but not anything else, it truly was frightening, but enjoyable nonetheless."

Moi: "Dude, what were you on?"

Him: (disregarding my question) "Maybe I was butter in my past life, or will be in my future one" (delighted at the thought), "however I can't seem to figure out the reason as to why I was melting, or hey, why was I butter in the first place? I mean, couldn't I have been margarine? Or even sour cream? Heck, why didn't I feel like cream cheese?"

Moi: "Dude, what are you on now?"

Yea, it stopped right there, it's interesting though, who knows, now I'm prepared, if one day, or one night I ever feel like melting butter or freezing water I'd know I'm not alone! And well, I'd also get to know the feelings of our inanimate friends : )

Good night : )

2005-03-13T23:37:00.000-05:00

Maybe I should be going to sleep now, I don't know though, as soon as I close my eyes and try to induce the alpha waves, I start thinking about a whole lot of things, and of course my sleep is delayed. But I think I should anyway cuz I'll have to wake up really early, I decided to change my sleep pattern, again, with the hopes that I'll be managing my time more efficiently.
Anyway, I thought I'll try and hopefully things will work, and well, if I don't do it, maybe I'll just pretend to.

Reason & Instinct: the hobbesian paradox

2005-03-13T22:49:00.000-05:00

Hobbes once defined the "state of nature" as one where man would be brute, violent, selfish, greedy, utterly egoist...According to Hobbes, while in that 'state of nature', man wouldn't be able to live any social experience, inasmuch as his ultimate concern would be his own 'survival' in a war of all against all. If men are violent, brute, selfish, unhampered, egoist, they would first zeal for their own goods (life, food etc.) to the detriment of other men.Then how was it possible for men to leave behind this rudimentary existential stage, reaching the ultimate incarnation of Reason (Leviathan - the modern state)? What happened to change the previous existential pattern? How did man become conscious of the "primacy" of Reason over Instinct? This is the big unsolved question in hobbesian thought and - I would concede - in modern political philosophy. Would you guys provide me with some enlightenment on this apparent paradox? How can Instinct (conceived of as the opposite of Reason) lead to Reason?

I DESPISE the movies

2005-03-13T21:18:00.000-05:00

I know, that's a strong word, I usually use 'dislike' for things I dislike :P but here's the thing, I've recently moved to a different country, in a different continent, when I look back, I see I've moved from one country to another like people change houses, and no, my parents aren't diplomats.
I'll come back to this maybe on a later post, but right now I'd like to mention my acquired hatred towards the movies.
I do not know anybody here, my sister goes to college and is gone the whole day, my parents are gone the whole day, and I'm sitting at home preparing myself for my licensure examination which will be in the summer, but till then, I have no one to talk to except my cats! Isn't that just wonderful? I mean, the only thing I have seemed to gain is weight! Now that's just what I needed!
And now, whenever I suggest we do something on the weekends, everyone prefers going to the movies! I didn't mind it at the beginning, but then it seemed to be the only thing people wanted to do! So I thought to myself, ok, I'll get a car and go around exploring the place; but *sigh* it's just so boring doing it alone!
So anyway, I started disliking the movies because you go there, waste your time, waste your money and watch something just not worth watching.
Urghhhh.

Know thyself!

2005-03-13T20:33:00.000-05:00

I want to write and write and write! It's funny though, considering I do not know how to write properly in any language! That's why I decided to take some writing courses in English, since it is the language I feel most comfortable with..
That's one thing that has been on my mind, and the other, well, I was thinking the other day what it means to 'be myself' somehow it just seems hard to do that, come to think of it, what is yourself? How are you 'yourself'?
What made my situation even worse, as I was meditating on it, was the fact that I have gone through so many phases, and have gone through so many 'I'm changing my life' times that it seems to be a bit difficult to know what that self is. But then again, I see myself as myself, the same person I always was, with the change being in my current interests. *shrug*
I'm having trouble putting these stranded thoughts into something coherent, but I'd appreciate any thoughts on this matter, coherent, or not : )

Oh no!

2005-03-12T22:16:00.000-05:00

I think I'm getting addicted to this bloggerworld, spending more and more of the 'free' time that
I don't seem to have on it.
I get hooked easily.
I'm just wondering why I don't become an
aficionado of the good things?

: )

2005-03-12T21:57:00.000-05:00

Yes, change is good.

West Side Catastrophe

2005-03-11T17:30:00.000-05:00

Just watched the movie today, for the first time, and gotta tell you that song is pretty contagious:
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine!
My dad recommended it, saying it was a very very good movie, a friend couldn't make it past the first 15 minutes, he said he really tried though. I found it amusing, and wanted to know what the fuss was all about.
For those of you who haven't seen it though I'm sure I was the only one who hadn't, given the age of the movie; it's about 2 people from different cultures falling in love, and the story has a tragical Romeo and Juliet ending.
I'm still stuck at the same old eternal question of why people fight. I believe if you take mans reasoning capabilities away from him he will be worse than animals. And now since nobody has done that, and since man still has his power of reason, why not use it? I keep on getting the 'the masses aren't intellectual' answer, ok, fine, but for those who are, for those who claim to be enlightened souls (though being educated hasn't got much to do with enlightenment, and vice versa), why aren't they doing something about it?
People who are not inflicted with any mental disorder, I'm sure do not enjoy fighting and killing and destroying, and fortunately they are a majority, so, the question is this, is there really no way for progress other than war? Would there be stagnancy if there was peace all over the world?
Is there no other way people could resolve their problems without having to be clutching at one anothers throats?
I mean, really now, we're in the 21st century! Hello? Couldn't we just enjoy a little bit of peace? Couldn't we just be a bit less hypocritical? Couldn't we just be compassionate, for once? Everybody, together, is that not possible?
Are people willing to do that? Maybe the question is rather, do people want peace? Ok, I see I didn't stick to that one question. But that's the thing, it isn't just one thing, it's a whole lot of things, hmm, maybe I should find some words to replace those 3 'things' back there. lol.

GrrrRrrrRRrrr!

2005-03-11T15:37:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to post some comments but I just keep on getting this message 'The blog you were looking for was not found' 'Back to the dashboard' I didn't come from the dashboard you silly blogger.
It's so annoying!

The Wanderer..

2005-03-10T23:28:00.000-05:00

He left today.

I always have this feeling when someone close to me leaves-forlornly-for about half a day and then everything goes back to normal!
I realized some time ago how little I know of my family. In the 5 years I lived with my brothers, seldom did we sit and talk about anything, each of us wrapped in their own little world, busy with their thing. I did try, a few times, to get us together, but it would never work, and later I found out why, we were just so different from one another, there were very little common grounds, we had totally different interests, and I just knew that if we weren't born in the same family, we would never have been aware of each others existence.
Not that we are now anyway!
I left, and now I saw my younger brother after about a year, he hadn't changed much, and I can say that because I don't know him well to know whether he has changed or not. But anyway, we did have a good time together now, when we weren't busy working, but now he's gone. And it somehow hurts me when I look back at our relationship. When we were much younger, they called us the inseparable twins. We didn't look alike, I was much bigger, and well, 2 years older. But somehow we were so much alike and pretty much together all the time, he looked up to me, and I felt this sense of responsibility, but as we were growing, we were changing, and I tried to keep it the same, but failed! *sigh*

It feels so weird when I think of my life, my life in the past, the different stages and phases we went through, the different people we met, the different things we did. I'm grateful for many things, and regret nothing, except maybe this loss. I know he'll come round though, and wake up and smell the coffee/tea/hot chocolate, or whatever it is he drinks. But he'll come to. I have so much belief in this brother of mine, I feel one day he will change the world-somehow (for the better, let's hope!).
Uhhh ok, gotta go now, first thing on my to-do list? Sterilize his room!

An Interminable Staircase?

2005-03-06T18:02:00.000-05:00

Descend it.
For the first two or three flights, you are just getting into step. Establish a regular rhythm as soon as possible, synchronizing your feet, the movement of your legs, and your breathing in such a way that they become automatic, and you can keep going without thinking about it. When you feel a slight dizziness, you've reached the right mechanical state of mind.
Keep going.
Imagine that you'll keep going down like this forever. The spiraling movement will continue indefinitely. Bottomless: no hell, no material disintegration, no death. Just this regular, interminable descent. As far as the eye can see. And there's no stopping. If you wish, you can embroider your downward journey in different ways. Imagine you pass through different zones of color, for instance. Invent frozen lights, torrid zones, light and dark flights, long overcrowded passages, deserted intervals, parts of the staircase better maintained than others, local populations, folk music, regional dishes, rustic paintings.
What you can never alter, however, is the fact that your descent has no end.
Rely on your gallows humor to compose two funeral orations in your head, with an elegiac warmth: one for the inventor of the ground floor, the other for the salesman of staircases.
Oh and it works just the same for ascending ;)
I got to tell Droit I found the picture!

"I need one of those days"

2005-02-27T11:35:00.000-05:00

Favorite fruit : ) Favorite looks weird, for a very long time it was favoUrite.. Ah well, not that it makes a difference.. *shrug*shrug*shrug* or better still *sigh*sigh*sigh*..
I have wasted so much time in this short life of mine, and to my dismay I have not acquired enough words throughout this time to correctly describe the misery I'm in. Not that I need to, I mean, why add to the misery?
Ok, I guess I'll have to ask some people to check out my blog, cuz I can't just sit here and write stuff, to myself! lol, I mean come on, it's not going all that bad!
Though I must admit, for a while now I have somehow totally given up my work, which is a preparation for my license.. Won't tell you in what field though, don't wanna freak you out! :P Who exactly am I talking to? The poor pathetic soul reading this.. Ok. No, you're not pathetic : ) Do come back every once in a while, I might have injected some sense in my blogs, and it would feel a bit better to know I'm not all alone : )
Argh I missed the 'i need one of those days' part! There's this song I'm listening to, describing one of those crazy weeks, and well, one of those days where the sun is shining bright and life is going right!' duurrr.
See ya ;)

2005-02-24T23:05:00.000-05:00

my tranQuilizer

Voila!

2005-02-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

I've been away so long I've forgotten how this thing works!
ok.. first up let me say that in the first few days of the discovery of blogger I came across 'the anarchy of thought' and was hooked on the posts almost instantly..
Every morning I checked it out before anything else on the web!
I'd like to get to know the transparent ironist, well, maybe someday.
Then I got tired because I cannot read much on a computer and had to print out his posts, and then one day my ink ran out and I didn't have the chance to get any..
Anywayyyy
Then what happens, my parents were looking for a house to purchase, and it is no joke, the amount of time you have to spend looking at houses until you find something close to what you like is just crazy! I took a good look at them and knew that they would never get round to doing this so I took a week off my work and found them a house! I just hope all goes well with it and if the home inspector gives the ok sign then everything will hopefully go ok!
I don't know who I'm talking to, presumably nobody, I mean who in the world would find reading about some happenings in some totally strangers life interesting?
Well, I am not writing to/for anybody, but myself. A very long time ago I got in the habit of keeping a journal, but then when it started sounding like an exact report of my life I gave it up. It was done too mechanically, without spending much mental energy, and it was just a complete waste of time.. I'm somehow feeling this would be too.. but I do not want it to be.. ah well, I guess now it's starting to!
Maybe I write about this in my coming posts, as for now, I'm off committing suicide by ingesting something edible.. Cause of death? Over distention of the stomach! :(

An interesting blog : )

2005-02-01T14:03:00.000-05:00

The Anarchy of Thought

2005-01-31T23:23:00.000-05:00

yes, don't ask me why.

OMG!

2005-01-31T15:20:00.000-05:00

I can't believe this, I've been sitting on my desk for the past hour just clicking on 'next blog' .
I can't believe how good of a procrastinator I am, I mean, seriously, I should be awarded, numero uno.
There is so much to do, yet none is being done.
*sigh* what a loser.
It's ok though, I'll come to, I guess the first step was admitting what I was doing (to myself) and now, I'll probably correct it.
Yeah well...
It's a sunny day, I just heard some kid screaming at the top of his lungs.. that's why I heard him... I'm pretty far away from humans... in solitary confinement..no, i'm not in prison...
Ok, I want some chocolate to make me feel even stupider than I already do.. so I'll come back later!

Finally!

2005-01-31T14:50:00.000-05:00

Some sort of journal! They say it gives you time for reflection..
Write about things that matter and well, about things that don't.
It's been a while since I wanted to just write and write and write whatever comes to mind.. but never did, because I thought 'what a waste of time' but then I came across blogger, and thought, hey what a neat idea.. and so, here I am..
And I quote a blogger "So that brings me to this blog. Interaction. Conversation. Ideas. Venting. Essentially somewhere for me to spew my thoughts. "